Last week I had the chance to chat with the awesome August McLaughlin of Girl Boner Radio, where good girls go for sexual empowerment! We talked all about breakups and how to turn them into positive changes in your life. Check out my full interview here!
Hello Dr. Joy,
My ex and I broke up a little over 6 months ago and I’m still having a lot of trouble getting over the fact the relationship has ended. We dated for 1.5 years and everything seemed to be going fine when he told me that he did not think he was ready for a commitment. He still calls and texts from time to time which leads me to believe that he may be reconsidering his decision to end the relationship. I always respond because I don’t want him to think that I don’t care about him anymore or do anything to upset him. I still have hope that we will get back together if I just keep the lines of communication open and show him that I am still interested. Do you think I am wasting my time?
Earlier this week, my friend Regina (at least in my head) of BYREGINA, shared a story on her Periscope broadcast that really resonated with me. She talked about seeing an advertisement for a list of top leaders in her industry that didn’t include any women or people of color. She went on to discuss how often we long and yearn to be included in spaces that often willfully exclude us and how misguided it can be to try to work hard to be included, instead of simply creating our own spaces. Specifically she said, “we must be conscious of the times we strive to make the list and conscious of the times we need to make the list irrelevant.” The mantra that rose from that Periscope was “Eff the list.” If someone doesn’t see fit to include you in their space or on their list for whatever reason, eff their list and make your own list! Even though her story had nothing to do with relationships and dating, she challenged her viewers to think about our own lists and all the times we’ve tried to bend and mold to fit into a space that wasn’t meant for us in the first place.
Last week I had a great time chatting with the folks at Exaholics. It’s a great community totally focused on helping you to break the addiction to your ex. We talked about how social media impacts breakups and all the ways continuing to check up on your ex and spy around online can keep you stuck. Undoubtedly, breakups have become much more difficult in the past 10 or so years because so much of our lives is spent and catalogued in our social media feeds. When a relationship ends, it doesn’t just mean that you and your ex don’t spend time together in person anymore, it also means that virtual ties need to be cut. I know you may feel like that’s a pretty drastic step to take but I really believe that if you want to give yourself a fair chance at healing from your breakup as soon as possible, in most cases, all ties need to be cut. Here are five reasons why it’s so important to unfriend, unfollow, and stop stalking your ex online!
EXAHOLICS.com is an online community designed to help people deal with the pain of a breakup or divorce. I’ve been asked to do a live webinar followed by a Q&A session about all the things to consider related to social media and your ex. The webinar will take place on Wednesday, July 29, 2015 @ 9pmEST. Please visit their site to learn more information about the community and to register for the webinar. Got any questions you’d like to see addressed during the webinar? Drop them in the comments or submit them here.
For the past week or so, we’ve watched the drama unfold in the very public breakup between Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick. If you’re a fan or hate watcher of Keeping up with the Kardashians and the various spinoffs, you’re probably aware of the rocky road that has been their relationship. While they have definitely experienced their fair share of ups and downs, it always seemed like they were able to work it out. Well this week, pictures surfaced of him and his ex getting cozy in Monte Carlo and apparently this was the last straw for Kourtney and she ended the relationship.
Often after a breakup (usually around the 1 month mark), you begin getting the mostly unsolicited advice from friends and family that you just need to move on. And while people’s intentions are often good and kind-hearted, this advice really sucks. The truth is that there is no moving on after a breakup. There is only moving through!